The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
