she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
