i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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