ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
