Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
