Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
