i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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