I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
