in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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