I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
