Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
