does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
