When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
