just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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