he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
