Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
