soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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