He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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