ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
