Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
