I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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