Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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