He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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