We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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