She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
