She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
