Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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