evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
