I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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