sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
