I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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