so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
