Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
honey bunches of taint.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
