Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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