god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
