Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
