I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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