Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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