: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it glows. i had to have it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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