Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
