In America we eat man semen.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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