i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
