I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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