found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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