we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
