she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
