So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The uberlube is also flammable
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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