I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
