just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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