a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
