I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
