my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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