I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
