while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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