I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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