Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
