I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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