No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
