i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
