why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize