You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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